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Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Macho Mom & The Subway Surfer

The mornings are not happy times for me. It's early, I'm required to get out of bed, I'm not allowed to "dress down" and people always find a way to touch me, pester me or somehow molest my sanity.

True to form, one hot, muggy morning I went to get on the subway--heading to my unpaid job :D--trying to block out all of the schizophrenic shade being thrown by the ever multiplying personalities harbored by NYC.

While I was waiting on line to get my metro card, I was approached by this diesel chick [um…~uncomfortable~...],

"I'm not homeless, ok?!"

"…uh…oh…ok…" was my response.

"I'm pregnant and I need some money to feed my baby," was her stern, seemingly threatening rebuttal. She continued, "blah, blah, b.s., excuses, blah, so If you could spare anything, anything…*blank stare*" so, I don't know why but, I gave her 2 one dollar coins, smiled and said "here you go." I turned back around and took a step toward the machine and….she stepped forward WITH ME…[~uh~]…reluctantly, I looked at her and she says

"Anything??"

You could have sold me for a counterfeit penny. I couldn't even speak!

I just gave her TWO DOLLARS which should be a lot to a beggar…but, I just chalked it up to a misunderstanding; she must have thought I had only given her 2 quarters…which is still more than enough to be grateful for!

There was nothing else I could do but complete my transaction and walk away; I had to get on the train.

Surprisingly, even amidst the morning rush, the car I was on was just about empty…but there was this guy at the opposite end of the car. While the train was moving, he was standing in the middle of the car, drinking a dr. pepper, not holding onto anything. He was giving me this strange look; I couldn't tell if it was a "look-how-cool-I-am-I-ride-the-train-with-no-hands" look or a "i-dare-you-to-look-at-me-again-I'll-f*ck-you-up" look….i was a little nervous so I looked away and just kept him in my peripheral.

Then, I caught some excessive movement from the corner of my eye, so, I looked back and saw that this man started walking around while the train was moving. [~smh~] Well, just before he could begin to feel as cool as he knew that he was and take another sip of his beverage, the train jerked. Hard. Down went the subway surfer; he never let go of the dr. pepper.

*enter--the 3 man mariachi band*

I maxed the volume on my ipod…2 more stops and I was out of there.

4 comments:

LoveMeMore said...

LMAO! I love that the "subway sufer" fell on his ass!

Kendra said...

lol...this was a very funny&interesting read XD And the way the lady approaced u asking for money, but not being homeless :| Wow...thats a new way of doing things, but that was nice of u to give something.

svrbrownsuga said...

LOL I think this was hilarious..ooo how I miss the NYC subways lol always some ish!

Mizrepresent said...

lol, the subways are a writers dream...we will forever find a story there.

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